That’s a wrap

Melissa Leo would call Trade Deadline Day a total #$%^ing bore.

All Montreal Canadiens fans had was a hoax.

A phony Pierre LeBrun Tweeted Dustin Penner from Edmonton for Jarred Tinordi and the Canadiens’ first-round pick.

Plausible enough.

But not true.

Penner is going to L.A. for Colton Teubert (13th overall in 2008), the Kings’ first-round pick this year  and a conditional pick in 2012.

François Gagnon just Tweeted the Canadiens will not make a move today.

Pierre McGuire on the Canadiens: “They’re an older team. The window’s shrinking on them. They don’t have a lot of prospects. Tough to deal.”

“Montreal is not that close to winning at any point,” says Craig MacTavish, explaining the team’s inactivity.

•  •  •

Very expensive price to make L.A. the league leader in physical Dustins.

And it begs the question: Did Edmonton ask for Tinordi and a first?

Line of the Day: “The Kings Speech is a Dean Lombardi press conference. And The Kids Are All Right has become Edmonton’s slogan.”

Late breakers: Habs reunion in Vancouver – Christopher Higgins and Maxim Lapierre.

REAL NEWS: Ryan White isn’t at a very spirited practice in Atlanta. Sending him down for Nigel Dawes?

OK, everyone back to sleep.

A chronicle of this non-eventful day on the jump

• Jason Arnott to Washington for David Steckel (the guy whose hit on Crosby started the concussion problems).

• Brad Richards stays put … and may walk for nothing on July 1.

•  •  •

Dustin Penner shed fewer tears than Ryan Smyth.

“If I tried to fill everyone’s expectations, I would have driven myself clinically insane,” Penner said.

• So a total stranger rings your bell and urges you to taste the pizza you just ordered. And you DON’T phone the police?

• Kings out of the Brad Richards sweepstakes. Rangers or nothing now

• Pierre McGuire reports Penner’s Mrs. Jessica Welch, is a Montreal actress living in L.A. “Nice little bonding there” remark convulses the TSN set.

• Whoah! This is a late biggie: John Mitchell to the Rangers

• Keith Jones likes Caps’ moves, Sturm and Wideman

• Oh, BOOST as part of a daily nutritional diet. I thought (hoped?) he said “Booze”.

• McGuire is working his Berry. News?

What we saw on TV and the Web earlier:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tweet from Paul Bissonnette (BizNasty2point0): Damn, Charlie Sheen sent right to San Antonio. Couldn’t “crack” the line up. Oh well back to the drawing bored.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris Stevenson of the Sun newspapers Tweets: Penner to the ? Lots of noise out there. They need the size, for sure.

On TSN, MacT defends Penner after McGuire disses the big lug.

 

• Peter Chiarelli says Boston is “tinkering a little bit with minor depth … we’ve done out heavy lifting in the last couple weeks.”

• Brian Burke: “Obviously a lot of key pieces moved well in advance of the deadline” but he predicts a late flurry this afternoon

• Another Florida move: Sportsnet says Bryan Allen to Carolina for Sergei Samsonov

• James Duthie: “You know that James Franco 127 Hours where he’s got his arm stuck in a rock? Feels like me right now. And I don’t have a knife to cut it off.

• Scottie Upshall is an articulate guy

• Chris Campoli to Chicago

From earlier:

• This just in: the official HIO Trade Deadline Day Lunch – tuna salad and a Diet Coke

• TSN talking to Scott Niedermayer. More interesting would be a substantive update on the man who scored the Golden Goal.

• Dave Hodge and panel talking about the inactivity. The problem: Not many teams are out of it and selling. Plus many big deals have been made.

• Peter Chiarelli coming up on TSN. We hate the Bs, but he’s a smart GM

• Gotta love those Subaru sumo dudes.

• Shawn Belle traded! Edmonton to Colorado for Kevin Montgomery

• On the phone to TSN, Rosty Klesla is setting a record for a central European saying “you know”

 

•  •  •

Doug Wilson on TSN: “Every team in the league will tell you they’re looking for a centre and a defenceman” 

• Columbus has traded Rostislav Kesla, and we couldn’t care less, except to note he was the first draft choice in the franchise’s history.

• Colin Fraser? Hmmm …

• Mathieu Darche is not on the trip and no one talks about him. Far be it from the Kremlin, of course,  to issue any injury updates

 

Stuff from earlier:

Fans with espresso makers and strong stomachs doubtless have been glued to TSN coverage since 8 a.m.

Judging from the Comments, Pierre McGuire has not been kind to the organization that, amazingly, still has not hired him.

Biggest move so far: Washington gets Dennis Wideman, which shores up the Caps’ back end.

And in a deal with Atlanta that will see Radek Dvorak suiting up against the Canadiens tomorrow night, Florida acquires young and promising Niclas Bergfors.

Late Sunday, Buffalo landed Brad Boyes, giving away hardly anything.

Pierre? You awake?

Pierre …

 

• It’s waiver wire time and Bob McKenzie’s computer screen is frozen. Ottawa has claimed another goaltender, and Rob Schremp was claimed by Atlanta, which will have a new look just in time for the Canadiens’ visit tomorrow

 

• Breaking news! Dustin Penner has arrived for practice in Edmonton. Penner is on TSN, strolling in wearing a bcakwards baseball cap, a tee-shirt and a ski jacket. I’d like to see more intensity.

• Panger says Brayden Schenn isn’t going anywhere. But the Kings would move Wayne Simmonds. Hmm…. Pangers says it would have to be a “phenomenal deal” to get the 22-year-old power forward.

• Panger and Dutchy in window-pane checks. I’m SO GLAD I don’t have 3D.

•  This is pathetic. TSN is flashing back to last year’s Deadline deals. 

Brad Richards audio from Dallas practice

• Down Goes Brown Tweet: Update: The fax machine in the Leafs war room just slowly spit out a picture of Keyser Soze.

BlackBerry has bought a lot of time on the TSN special. So who do they figure is watching on a working Monday

• Red Bull. Now THAT’S good ad placement

• Craig MacTavish says Vancouver needs “depth on the fourth line.” Poor guys. Canadiens fans sympathize.

• I like McGuire’s shirt/tie/suit combo. A Montreal guy teaches those ROC schmucks how to suit up

• Michael Farber on the loaded Canucks:  “If the Stanley Cup is going to come down to whither Marty Reasoner, we’re all in trouble

• Dave Hodge: “It’s 9:35 on the West Coast. If Mike Gillis is still asleep, that’s fine with me.”

• Eric Duhatschek is talking about Vancouver’s “malleable” playoff opponents. That’s twisted.

• Jim Matheson of the Edmonton Journal Tweets: After seeing small oil forwards vs redwoods bruins can they really move their only big guy penner? Don’t see it even if penner has warts

On a snow/rain/sleet day in Montreal, those California commercials look very enticing

• The hilarious Paul Bissonnette (BizNasty2point0)Tweets: In case you folks are wondering I have a no movement clause, but its from the middle of the bench

McGuire leaves the set … in great haste. Shouldn’t have had the burrito breakfast.

• Pierre says a big one is coming. But he can’t say what it is. This is more mysterious than a CSI episode.

• Projecting the next Olympic team, Michael Peca and Matthew Barnaby both drop P.K. Subban. Everyone hates the Habs, eh? Mike Johnson defends P.K.

• Scottie Upshall and moves again, with Sami Lepisto, to Columbus for Rostislav Klesla who had been mooted as a Canadiens’ target

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