We could do a Twelve Days of Christmas parody on everything that ails the team – Four soft defencemen, three francophones, two power forwards and a Martin in a Pearn tree – but it would be difficult to restrict the list to a dozen headaches.
Or A Christmas Carol, with Bob Gainey as Scrooge and Carbo as Jacob Marley … featuring Andrei Markov as Tiny Tim.
How the Grinchier Stole Christmas?
There will be ample time, as the season wears on (and we use the verb advisedly) to fret, agonize and vent our spleen on what has befallen one of the proudest franchises in professional sports.
But on the eve of Dec. 25, let’s just join together in hoping for peace on earth and goodwill toward everyone who isn’t a Bruins fan.
Let’s put hockey on the back burner for a couple days and turn the rest of the of stove over to whipping up the delights that make this the most wonderful and fattening time of the year.
And may we suggest taking a moment to count your blessings.
If Mike Cammalleri’s scoring slump, P.K.’s maturation or Randy Cunneyworth’s unilingualism is your biggest problem, you’re doing better than most of the people on this planet.