Photo by Brian Snyder/Reuters
In consultation with the Hockey Inside/Out advisory board of mental health professionals, we have determined the website’s far-flung community must begin to prepare themselves for a grim event that may plunge us all into a deep depression that will last all summer:
The Boston Bruins might win the Stanley Cup.
Yes, Vancouver will be favoured.
The Canucks are Canada’s team, and everyone who dislikes the Bruins – i.e. everyone outside the 617 area code – will be rooting for them when the Cup final begins in Vancouver on Wednesday.
On paper, the Canucks are the better team.
But the final won’t be played on paper.
One stat to get your anxiety level boosted early:
In three lifetime starts against the Canucks, Tim Thomas has allowed three goals. Thomas has stopped 99 per cent of the shots he’s face.
And Milan Lucic is going home.
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