Suffering Canadiens withdrawal?
The Gazette has the answer with the ultimate fantasy experience as Canadiens beat writer Pat Hickey teams with EA Sports, Gazette techie Eric Tobon and assorted friends around the National Hockey League to produce The Season That Isn’t.
Beginning with Thursday’s scheduled season opener against the Ottawa Senators, we’ll play the video game and let you know what would have happened, complete with reaction from the Canadiens’ dressing room.
Look for it Friday in The Gazette and at hockeyinsideout.com.
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I think that it is an originally funny idea and I look forward to reading about how the game went tomorrow. Naturally, if they lose, I expect the headline to read “Therien must go!” lol
Furthermore, it is my opinion that Carthage must be destroyed.
If you’re a fan of Frank…my own anti lock out statement:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U
I couldn’t say where they’re coming from
But I think this lock out is incredibly dumb.
They snuck up on me sayin’ “Look here bum,
I got 3.3 Bil says you can’t make me succumb…
(Ya just can’t do it)”
They made a bet with the players who’re a little dumb
They could prove at any time all fans were scum.
I don’t mind that they called me a bum,
But I knew right away I was gonna make them succumb
(so I got down to it)
I took out my wallet and stiffened my thumb
Then cut up my credit card and and poured me a rum.
I drank and drank til my wrist got numb
But I still didn’t hear nobody succumb.
How incredibly dumb.
Incredibly dumb
Incredibly dumb
Where is this lock out
Comin from
Done spent three hours
On this bottle of rum
And I ain’t got a crumb
From this incredibly dumb, incredibly dumb, incredibly dumb,
From these lock out scum.
(The Bettman and Fehr Chorus sings:)
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you aint been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you aint been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you aint been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you aint been to it
cause I cant get into it
Unless I get out of it
An I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it
(Fehr looked over at Gary with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on his upper lip area
And he said…)
Just get me wasted
An you’re half-way there
Cause if my minds tore up
Then my body don’t care
Gary rubbed his chinny-chin-chin
An said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this Donald get high upon?
He checked out the reps
Who were working with Fehr
And wondered what kind of trip
These concussed players were on.
The 3.3 Bil didn’t matter no more
Then the players started taking off to distant shores
So Gary figured he might still win the bet
But he could use a little LUCK and he wasn’t done yet.
He told them…
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn’t give it a try
So he combed out his hair
Got his jet in the air
An asked if they had a team in Djibouti somewhere
(whaddya mean Djibouti! no Djibouti for me!)
They was buns-up kneelin’
Buns up!
He was wheelin’ an dealin’
Wheelin’ an dealin’ an ooooh!
They surrendered to the feelin’
They sweetly surrendered
And they started in to negotiatin’
Donald watched from the end of the table
With his lips just a-twitchin and his mind unstable
Some drool rollin’ down
From the edge of his chin
While he spied the condition
His players was in
He quivered and quaked
And clutched at himself
While the players made a joke
About his mental health
Till Donald finally
Did give in
But Gary told him
All he really needed
Was some discipline…
Kiss my aura…dora…
M-m-m…its real angora
Would yall like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An how bout you, fauna?
Ywanna?
Mmm…sound like ymight be chokin on somethin
Did you say you want some more?
Well, heres some more…
Mmm, sure…listen
Dyou think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
Mmm…tweezers!
Here, lemme sterilize em…
Gimme your lighter…
I couldn’t say where they’re coming from
But I think this lock out is incredibly dumb.
They snuck up on me sayin’ “Look here bum,
I got 3.3 Bil says you can’t make me succumb…
(Ya just can’t do it)”
They made a bet with the players who’re a little dumb
They could prove at any time all fans were scum.
I don’t mind that they called me a bum,
But I knew right away I was gonna make them succumb
(so I got down to it)
I took out my wallet and stiffened my thumb
Then cut up my credit card and and poured me a rum.
I drank and drank til my wrist got numb
But I still didn’t hear nobody succumb.
How incredibly dumb.
Incredibly dumb
Incredibly dumb
Incredibly dumb
Incredibly dumb
***Subbang Baby!!!***
Dynamo Hum! Brilliant! Don’t go where the huskies go and don’t you eat that yellow snow.
RIP Frank. Saludos!
Great job Punk. Frank was my musical idol. Saw him live several times and his album ‘shut-up and play your guitar’ was the most influential musical etude on playing the electric guitar of all time- influenced my guitar playing style and that of many others. I miss that SOB.
*Listen to my instrumental tribute entitled “Habs at War” at http://petertoliasmusic.site11.com/Music_Site/OtherOriginalMusic.html
Brilliant! A page worth scrolling through!
In the presence of greatness!
Great job, Dave.
You’re making the rest of us look bad.
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“I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”
Heck, and here I thought you were talking about me…shucks!!!
Warning, do not click if you are not a fan of Carey Price
Will have to check out tomorrow won’t play on IPad.
Just as well. Cold turkey is better I think. Watching that made me miss hockey even more. sighhhhhh
That’s pretty cool.
Puckheads Radio is back on the air tonight at 10pm.
We love taking calls from the audience if anyone has questions.
I know its a New York City number, but Skype works as well.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lastwordradio
Our podcasts are on itunes under lastwordradio now too.
Go Habs Go!
Check out Top Shelf Prospects, my Team by Team prospect reports
http://lastwordonsports.com/
Anyone know how Markov is doing playing for that Goon squad in Russia. You would think his knee would have blown out by now.
Heard he got his first assist in a 3-2 win today. Played around 20 minutes. All good thus far.
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I wonder if Boone negotiated a flat rate sum of money for blogging this season, and hope it is a guaranteed contract. The fact the league stops playing when he retires, shows how much he means to the game of Hockey.
No offence to the good people at HI/O or H/O, but I still prefer the idea of a poll where we pick which year we want to relive. Each HI/O or H/O reposts Red’s articles and whoever else was writing for Gazette at the time, post game summaries, and any video we can find.
Again, I am not trying to disprespect the current idea, but its a video game. Given we have no real hockey, isn’t this the right time to relive our past?
TSN’s Hockey Classics is doing just that.
Last week, they showed the 2009 playoff series between the Habs and Caps.
I know, it’s not that long ago, and even knowing the result, it was still a blood-boiler.
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“I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”
next poll question should be , would you PAY to see replacement players during the lockout
thanks
Hockey Frustration Song no. 9
Cue the music. Thanks to Zep for the idea for this one.
Well, I don’t know why I’m back here tonight
‘Cause I know there’s no hockey in sight
I’m so bored, ready to blow out my brains
She won’t let me ‘cause it’s gonna leave stains
Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
Here I am, a measly fan, just like you
Yes, I’m a lowly fan, just like you
With no hockey, I don’t know what to do
It’s so hard to keep a smile on my face
Losing control, yeah, my life’s a disgrace
Clowns in the NHL, jokers overseas
Here I am, a measly fan. What, you too?
Well, he started off with something
And proud to be commissioner-man
And the owners, they all were ‘a-bawlin’
Gave him carte blanche and said: Please, please
Trying to make some sense of it all
But the fans see it makes no sense at all
Is it cool to lock everyone out?
He don’t care, of that, I have no doubt
Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
Here I am, a measly fan, just like you
Well, he started off with something
And proud to be commissioner-man
And the owners, they all were ‘a-bawlin’
Gave him carte blanche and said: Please, please
Trying to take control of it all
But Fehr is now ready to stall
Fans so bored, from coast to coast, we complain
But the alumni look upon us with disdain
Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
Here I am, a measly fan. What, you too?
Yes, I’m stuck here with nothing to do
Blogging on line, just like you
Here I am, wishing for a breakthrough
*********************************************
“I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”
Great Job Bri. That’s one of my favorite songs too.
———————————–
There are so many great ones, Jim.
If this lock-out lasts the year, I might just run out of replacement words…
I mean, how many times can you use Bettman in a sentence?
*********************************************
“I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”
Who are the starting goalies? Is Alex Galchenyuk being brought up for the game? Does Pleks get some wingers?
I need a life.
Ah for Chr*st sakes! Has it come to this? Really?
From the mundane to the surreal!
*********************************************
“I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”
Will Boone be doing a live game blog?
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Ka is a wheel.
NHLPA vs The NHL: “Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right” – Stealers Wheel
Stuck in the Middle
LMAO!
This is definitely going to be an oddity. More odd, however, will be people discussing the “simulated” game. Hell, it beats song parodies, anyways.
Got that right Cal, ya won’t have to go through half a page to get hockey comments.
o.O