Habs will ‘play’ The Season That Isn’t

videoweb

Suffering Canadiens withdrawal?

The Gazette has the answer with the ultimate fantasy experience as Canadiens beat writer Pat Hickey teams with EA Sports, Gazette techie Eric Tobon and assorted friends around the National Hockey League to produce The Season That Isn’t.

Beginning with Thursday’s scheduled season opener against the Ottawa Senators, we’ll play the video game and let you know what would have happened, complete with reaction from the Canadiens’ dressing room.

Look for it Friday in The Gazette and at hockeyinsideout.com.

29 Comments

  1. mr92243 says:

    I think that it is an originally funny idea and I look forward to reading about how the game went tomorrow. Naturally, if they lose, I expect the headline to read “Therien must go!” lol

    Furthermore, it is my opinion that Carthage must be destroyed.

  2. punkster says:

    If you’re a fan of Frank…my own anti lock out statement:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U

    I couldn’t say where they’re coming from
    But I think this lock out is incredibly dumb.

    They snuck up on me sayin’ “Look here bum,
    I got 3.3 Bil says you can’t make me succumb…
    (Ya just can’t do it)”

    They made a bet with the players who’re a little dumb
    They could prove at any time all fans were scum.

    I don’t mind that they called me a bum,
    But I knew right away I was gonna make them succumb
    (so I got down to it)

    I took out my wallet and stiffened my thumb
    Then cut up my credit card and and poured me a rum.

    I drank and drank til my wrist got numb
    But I still didn’t hear nobody succumb.
    How incredibly dumb.

    Incredibly dumb
    Incredibly dumb
    Where is this lock out
    Comin from
    Done spent three hours
    On this bottle of rum
    And I ain’t got a crumb
    From this incredibly dumb, incredibly dumb, incredibly dumb,
    From these lock out scum.

    (The Bettman and Fehr Chorus sings:)

    I got a spot that gets me hot
    But you aint been to it
    I got a spot that gets me hot
    But you aint been to it
    I got a spot that gets me hot
    But you aint been to it
    I got a spot that gets me hot
    But you aint been to it
    cause I cant get into it
    Unless I get out of it
    An I gotta get out of it
    Before I get into it
    cause I never get into it
    Unless I get out of it
    An I gotta be out of it
    To get myself into it

    (Fehr looked over at Gary with a glazed eye
    And some bovine perspiration on his upper lip area
    And he said…)

    Just get me wasted
    An you’re half-way there
    Cause if my minds tore up
    Then my body don’t care

    Gary rubbed his chinny-chin-chin
    An said my-my-my
    What sort of thing
    Might this Donald get high upon?

    He checked out the reps
    Who were working with Fehr
    And wondered what kind of trip
    These concussed players were on.

    The 3.3 Bil didn’t matter no more
    Then the players started taking off to distant shores
    So Gary figured he might still win the bet
    But he could use a little LUCK and he wasn’t done yet.

    He told them…
    Just because the sun
    Want a place in the sky
    No reason to assume
    I wouldn’t give it a try

    So he combed out his hair
    Got his jet in the air
    An asked if they had a team in Djibouti somewhere

    (whaddya mean Djibouti! no Djibouti for me!)

    They was buns-up kneelin’
    Buns up!
    He was wheelin’ an dealin’
    Wheelin’ an dealin’ an ooooh!
    They surrendered to the feelin’
    They sweetly surrendered
    And they started in to negotiatin’

    Donald watched from the end of the table
    With his lips just a-twitchin and his mind unstable
    Some drool rollin’ down
    From the edge of his chin
    While he spied the condition
    His players was in
    He quivered and quaked
    And clutched at himself
    While the players made a joke
    About his mental health
    Till Donald finally
    Did give in
    But Gary told him
    All he really needed
    Was some discipline…

    Kiss my aura…dora…
    M-m-m…its real angora
    Would yall like some more-a?
    Right here on the flora?
    An how bout you, fauna?
    Ywanna?

    Mmm…sound like ymight be chokin on somethin

    Did you say you want some more?
    Well, heres some more…

    Mmm, sure…listen
    Dyou think I could interest you
    In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

    Mmm…tweezers!
    Here, lemme sterilize em…
    Gimme your lighter…

    I couldn’t say where they’re coming from
    But I think this lock out is incredibly dumb.

    They snuck up on me sayin’ “Look here bum,
    I got 3.3 Bil says you can’t make me succumb…
    (Ya just can’t do it)”

    They made a bet with the players who’re a little dumb
    They could prove at any time all fans were scum.

    I don’t mind that they called me a bum,
    But I knew right away I was gonna make them succumb
    (so I got down to it)

    I took out my wallet and stiffened my thumb
    Then cut up my credit card and and poured me a rum.

    I drank and drank til my wrist got numb
    But I still didn’t hear nobody succumb.
    How incredibly dumb.

    Incredibly dumb
    Incredibly dumb
    Incredibly dumb
    Incredibly dumb

    ***Subbang Baby!!!***

  3. commandant says:

    Puckheads Radio is back on the air tonight at 10pm.

    We love taking calls from the audience if anyone has questions.

    I know its a New York City number, but Skype works as well.

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lastwordradio

    Our podcasts are on itunes under lastwordradio now too.

    Go Habs Go!
    Check out Top Shelf Prospects, my Team by Team prospect reports
    http://lastwordonsports.com/

  4. ProHabs says:

    Anyone know how Markov is doing playing for that Goon squad in Russia. You would think his knee would have blown out by now.

  5. HabinBurlington says:

    I wonder if Boone negotiated a flat rate sum of money for blogging this season, and hope it is a guaranteed contract. The fact the league stops playing when he retires, shows how much he means to the game of Hockey. :)

  6. HabinBurlington says:

    No offence to the good people at HI/O or H/O, but I still prefer the idea of a poll where we pick which year we want to relive. Each HI/O or H/O reposts Red’s articles and whoever else was writing for Gazette at the time, post game summaries, and any video we can find.

    Again, I am not trying to disprespect the current idea, but its a video game. Given we have no real hockey, isn’t this the right time to relive our past?

    • Bripro says:

      TSN’s Hockey Classics is doing just that.
      Last week, they showed the 2009 playoff series between the Habs and Caps.
      I know, it’s not that long ago, and even knowing the result, it was still a blood-boiler.

      *********************************************
      “I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”

  7. slamtherimtim says:

    next poll question should be , would you PAY to see replacement players during the lockout

    thanks

  8. Bripro says:

    Hockey Frustration Song no. 9

    Cue the music. Thanks to Zep for the idea for this one.

    Well, I don’t know why I’m back here tonight
    ‘Cause I know there’s no hockey in sight
    I’m so bored, ready to blow out my brains
    She won’t let me ‘cause it’s gonna leave stains

    Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
    Here I am, a measly fan, just like you

    Yes, I’m a lowly fan, just like you
    With no hockey, I don’t know what to do
    It’s so hard to keep a smile on my face
    Losing control, yeah, my life’s a disgrace

    Clowns in the NHL, jokers overseas
    Here I am, a measly fan. What, you too?

    Well, he started off with something
    And proud to be commissioner-man
    And the owners, they all were ‘a-bawlin’
    Gave him carte blanche and said: Please, please

    Trying to make some sense of it all
    But the fans see it makes no sense at all
    Is it cool to lock everyone out?
    He don’t care, of that, I have no doubt

    Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
    Here I am, a measly fan, just like you

    Well, he started off with something
    And proud to be commissioner-man
    And the owners, they all were ‘a-bawlin’
    Gave him carte blanche and said: Please, please

    Trying to take control of it all
    But Fehr is now ready to stall
    Fans so bored, from coast to coast, we complain
    But the alumni look upon us with disdain

    Clowns in the NHL, jokers on the ice
    Here I am, a measly fan. What, you too?

    Yes, I’m stuck here with nothing to do
    Blogging on line, just like you
    Here I am, wishing for a breakthrough

    *********************************************
    “I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”

    • Habfan10912 says:

      Great Job Bri. That’s one of my favorite songs too.

      ———————————–

      • Bripro says:

        There are so many great ones, Jim.
        If this lock-out lasts the year, I might just run out of replacement words… ;)
        I mean, how many times can you use Bettman in a sentence?

        *********************************************
        “I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”

  9. gmd says:

    Who are the starting goalies? Is Alex Galchenyuk being brought up for the game? Does Pleks get some wingers?

    I need a life.

  10. frontenac1 says:

    Ah for Chr*st sakes! Has it come to this? Really?

  11. Bripro says:

    From the mundane to the surreal!

    *********************************************
    “I’m here to tell you: Gary Bettman hasn’t felt this alive since he killed Harry Potter’s parents.”

  12. ZepFan2 says:

    Will Boone be doing a live game blog?

    ———————————————————————-
    Ka is a wheel.

    NHLPA vs The NHL: “Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right” – Stealers Wheel

    Stuck in the Middle

  13. Cal says:

    This is definitely going to be an oddity. More odd, however, will be people discussing the “simulated” game. Hell, it beats song parodies, anyways. ;)


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